tam lin, rose-eater
by Penthepoet
Summary: Goro Akechi is rescued from the void by a figure that is not as benevolent as she first appears. When given another chance at life, how will he reconcile his final regrets with a chance to start over?


Goro Akechi has been lost. Thrown to the stars and scattered to the winds.

Time hasn't factored into his life anymore. Not since the gunshots. Not since he's died.

It's a fact he's come to accept as he wanders through the void. If he tried to forget, would he disintegrate? He wishes as much. It seemed like every step brought harsher memories. If he had opened himself up to other feelings, he could still be alive. He could still be with them.

The Phantom Thieves, the group of teenagers he'd fallen in with, his friends.

Friends.

What a pity that it took death for him to realize what he'd lost.  
He always pushed away the people that could have helped him, didn't he?

Akira Kurusu, for example.

Witty, charming, loving Akira who seemed to have everything he didn't.

Yet Akira had always treated him not as the famous "Detective Prince," but as a friend. Akira had even stood up for him in front of the other Phantom Thieves, and, although Akira was their leader, they had still argued against Akechi even being fit to be near them.

He's thankful he didn't have a corporeal body right now, or he would be crying.

At that moment, something changes. He can feel himself slip into another area. Stars begin to appear about him. The space around him seems to ripple forward.

Where was this, he wonders? Was this home? Could he find his way back to life?

Then he hears her.

"_Wanderer, what brings you into the Dreamsleeve?" _

He looks up, and sees her.

He's gone so long without seeing color that to see her is to see the sunrise for the first time. The flower crown upon her head, the long red hair that snaked down her frame, the flowing dress that drew close to her ashy skin, even her pointed ears. Yes, she was beautiful.

He moves to speak, but finds no words come out. He starts to feel a whole cocktail of emotions again - things he hadn't felt in a while, like _hope _and _awe. _

**I just want to live again, **he thinks, and the woman smiles.

"_Follow me, Akechi," _she lulls, extending her hand to him. He takes her hand, and they go together, further into the universe.

* * *

The first thing he learns is her name, amongst a flurry of her titles. Azura, Mother of the Roses, the Dawn and Dusk Ascendant, the Radiant Star, and more.

Azura bends down, kisses his head, and suddenly he can feel his form bloom over him again, settling down upon his ghostly shoulders like a pall.

"_I will keep you safe, Akechi. I will love you, and care for you as those others did not." _

He gets his first twinge of suspicion then, a private thought tucked away in his head. **They did care for me,** he thinks,** that's why it hurt so much when I- **

She talks again, and the thought is dispelled rather forcefully. "_Let us go to my realm. It is beautiful there, and you will find many things which will delight the senses." _

It's been so long that he's been away from everything that he figures that doesn't sound too bad. So, once again, he follows her.

* * *

Moonshadow is gorgeous, so very gorgeous.

He experiences everything anew. He truly feels reborn, here. The roses bloom so vibrantly, the glimmers of mist refresh him, the skies constantly blur into beautiful shades of orange and red. They walk together to a pavilion, where she seats him. She gestures, calling forth an invisible servant of some sort, and it seems as if in the blink of an eye, tea is on the table. She smiles as they sit down.

"_It's rare that we get beings that are not of this world. Tell me, what magic do you possess? I can sense something in you.. Something strange in nature." _

Akechi can feel it stir to life within him.

His Persona.. It's still around?

His eyes widen. "That would be.. That would be my Persona, an expression of my true self. I can summon it at will, it helps me in battle."

"_Show me," _Azura says, almost breathless, and Akechi summons it forth. He isn't sure that he could do it outside of the cognitive realm, but he manages it. It looms in the air, spectral and muscle-bound, and Azura smiles wider. "It's not much, to be honest. It's named after a character from my world that stole from the rich and gave to the poor." Akechi waves his hand dismissively.

"_No," _Azura murmurs. "_No, Akechi, this is beautiful. Somewhat like a few spirits of our world - atronachs - and yet.. not." _Her eyes are full of love as she looks at him, and yet the insecurities deep down in Akechi's skin can't help but hiss that **she wants to exploit you, Akechi, she wants to take hold of a power that others in this realm almost certainly do not have.**

Regardless, his heart triumphs over his head. She gives him love, and she really seems to mean it.

That's all he wants. Isn't that right?

Deep down, he can feel another Persona stir within him. It prowls, angry and raw and restless, and it watches. Its eyes see to the truth of the matter. It hates what it sees, and even further, it hates knowing its user will be taken advantage of.

* * *

He stays there, in her realm. For how long, he can't say.

For starters, she's trying to foster his dependence on her.

The things she says are cruel, but masked in beautiful compliments. "_Your talent is beautiful, but it has no worth if it is not shown off." "You have become so much better since you were found in the void." "Aren't you better with my guidance? Imagine how useless you are without me." _

Spiteful, wicked things. She dresses him in clothes of her choosing, feeds him things he is expected to like or choke upon, and gives him more backhanded compliments that devolve into increasingly worse insults to dent his self-confidence.

He is not supposed to reject any of this. He is only supposed to smile and nod. He learns that behavior quickly - learns many behaviors quickly, to be honest. It reminds him of the legends of the Fae Court, in his world; do not eat the food, do not tell the Fae your true self, do not thank them, do not look them in the eyes.

This grows concerningly normal to him.

When he asks for friends, Azura gives him some of her worshippers to talk with. The feeling is nice, but he can't help but feel that were it not for Azura, these people would never speak to him at all. His ignorance of this world also makes it harder for him to connect with them.

The biggest example of this lies with one of the people she seems to keep close in this realm of hers, an elf (Dunmer, Azura has corrected him once or twice), by the name of Alandro Sul.

Alandro Sul seems to be perpetually angry at events Akechi has never heard of, and to be quite frank, does not care about.

He rants often of how "the False Tribunal killed him, they killed Nerevar, my friend Nerevar, they slaughtered him." Akechi has learned the art of politely nodding and not adding fuel to this fire, just like he does with Azura, because last time he asked about who Nerevar was, he triggered what felt like an hour-long rant about how Indoril Nerevar, Horator Of The Dunmer, was the greatest Dunmer who ever lived in the history of this universe.

As one could surmise, he would rather not have that happen again.

Azura also seems to fawn over Akechi often. Her behavior is alarmingly, sickeningly saccharine towards him. Several times, when she has guests over, she has him on hand to show off his talent. She laughs joyously, clapping with glee every time, and he feels infantilized. Worst of all, he feels like he isn't even himself anymore. Just a toy for Azura to fawn over.

Then again, is that necessarily a bad thing, after all he's gone through? Maybe he needs a fresh start. Maybe this is good for him.

Yet he can't speak against her. He's seen the results of when someone else had tried it, and was left as a smear of gore that was unceremoniously tossed into the rose-beds.

She's given him a body. She's given him food - so much food that she's had to force it down his throat, at times. She's given him a _life. _

Was all this worth a life, if it was only half of a life?

* * *

The final nail in the coffin comes during one dusk-soaked evening, when his past threatens to consume him whole and he can't bear it any longer.

When Azura isn't looking, and he's hidden in her gardens, he summons his other Persona. It takes a little longer than usual. After all, he hasn't had to use it in a long, long while.

He's kept this from her, and he knows it's wrong to keep secrets from her, he's been punished for it before. But he needed something all to himself. What's more, he knows he's been denying this side of himself ever since he died. He needs to confront it.

As soon as his Persona appears, he takes a step back with shock.

His other Persona, Loki, is now covered in thorny rose vines. The once proud-looking, black-and-white Persona seems to be bound by them. They wrap around his Persona's body, all the way up to the throat where they constrict.

_**She's hurting you, Akechi… **_Loki rasps, grabbing at the rose vines and tugging. _**Look at what she has done to us. **_

"I can't leave. There's no way I can get out of here, not without her knowing."

_**LOOK AT US. LOOK AT WHAT SHE HAS DONE. We bleed because of her! **_

_**This is not living. This is a prison sentence.**_

"Maybe I deserve it for what I did to the Phantom Thieves. Maybe I want to leave you, and the past, and everything behind, and learn to like it here."

_**We are a Wild Card, Akechi. We are made to rebel. We cannot let her choke us. Please.**_

"If that's what I have to do to leave it behind."

_**You would rather turn your back on the past entirely, even the friends you treasured and the birthright you bear as a Wild Card? The very experiences that gave you your Personas? Akira would call you a coward.**_

"Don't say his name. Don't you fucking dare say his name."

There are tears in Goro Akechi's eyes now, glittering. Even his name stings to hear. Why do they haunt him so intensely now? Why did all the feelings he had for them come surging back now? Why is it that even fucking now, the Phantom Thieves can never leave him alone?

"I can't go back. They're dead to me. If I look back, I will destroy myself until there is nothing left."

_**Yet Akira - your parallel, your equal - rose up in more dire circumstances than you. **_

_**Will you honor the promise you made to me long ago, the promise you could have made to him?**_

The hurt has grown to an unimaginable extent, hearing of Akira. It hurts so much that it feels like a raw wound opened up in his chest, bare and bleeding. The tears burst forward, not letting up, and it feels like a wellspring burst somewhere inside him.

At the same time, he feels more memories and feelings trickle through.

Memories of Akira Kurusu, code-named Joker.

Memories of the Phantom Thieves, his friends.

Memories of the happier times he spent.

_**I am thou.. Thou art I. Will you take up your bonds once more, Goro Akechi? Will you defy the fate the world has placed on you, the thorny shackles restraining you? Will you follow in the footsteps of your equal, Akira? **_

He takes a deep breath.

When his eyes open, they blaze with an intensity not seen since he was alive, glowing with the power of a true Persona User.

"I won't let her rule me anymore. I'll break out of here, and I _will _find the Phantom Thieves again."

He can almost _feel _Loki smirk. With yanking motions, the vines seem to strain under the full strength of his Persona. One by one, the vines snap - and Akechi feels the power course through him again.

Renewed and reborn, with a new body.

_**Then go forth, Wild Card, and be reborn anew with the Arcana of the Fool. Break free from your prison, and revolt against the tyranny of a god…!**_

Akechi finds himself smirking in reply.

* * *

"_Sweet Akechi, you've taken so long to come to dinner." _

Akechi walks up the steps to the pavilion.

He finds that, surprisingly, he's not afraid of getting hurt by her. If Joker could kill a god at the absolute nadir of his power, after all, then Akechi could sure as hell make an escape from one.

"I'm not your 'Sweet Akechi,' Azura."

Azura's gentle smile seems to harden in an instant. Her eyes grow stern.  
In the same cheery voice she always seems to use around him, she goes:

"_I'm sorry, Akechi.. what did you just say to me?" _

"I _said, _I am not your possession, or your plaything. I am sick of being patronized, of having food shoved in my mouth, and being treated as if I am a circus animal that does tricks for your entertainment."

Azura laughs in his face. "_Lest you forget that I found you in the void! You would have rotted away were it not for me, Akechi. I gave you a body. I gave you a home, I gave you __**purpose. **__And you throw this back in my face?" _

She laughs again, but this time it has a more mocking timbre to it.

"You didn't give me anything. You simply reminded me of who I was.. and who I'm meant to be."  
"_I know of your true self. You showed it to me. You are the same, deep down. Otherwise it would have changed!" _She practically hisses it out, her hands curling into fists.

"_What did I say to you? You are WORTHLESS without me. You would do well to remember your place. _ _What I give, Goro, I can take away! Give me that body of yours. Some time without it will teach you a lesson." _

She slaps him across the face and moves to pull his body away, but finds it does not come off.

"_What is this? HOW?" _

Loki emerges from Akechi, and his clothes melt into something new; no longer the garb that Azura has made him wear, but a mix between the old outfit he wore as part of the Phantom Thieves and the outfit he wore when using Loki.

Goro Akechi grins wide. "I am my own man. I owe you nothing, I am not beholden to you. The man you saved is not the man before you." He bows.

"Adieu, Lady of Roses. Let us never meet again."

And with that, like a phantom, he's gone.

Azura chucks a pitcher of iced tea at one of the pavilion's pillars. "_GUARDS! FIND GORO AKECHI, AND BRING HIM TO ME…!" _

* * *

As Goro Akechi runs through, evading guards and making his way to an entrance, he grins.

He's missed this feeling. He can't wait to tell his adventure home to his friends (and to Akira, especially) when he finds them.


End file.
